Cullen (
howtoactfereldan) wrote2017-10-23 10:14 pm
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You'll have to make a decision quickly. Either don't come home and meet me in Halamshiral, or come home and have a day or two before turning for Orlais. They've called an Exalted Council. Josephine, Lavellan, and I must speak for the Inquisition in front of Orlais, Ferelden, and Divine Victoria. Two of those parties appear to be hostile to our continued existence. I will leave it to you to contemplate which two.
Be safe, Alistair, and go with my love.
Cullen doesn't bother signing it.
The library is silent. No one is in the rotunda -- Solas's rotunda, he thinks, even after all this time. There are always people in the yard, but many fewer than before.
(It's downright lonely, when Alistair travels. Cullen will never complain to him. Not after the last few years.)
Be safe, Alistair, and go with my love.
Cullen doesn't bother signing it.
The library is silent. No one is in the rotunda -- Solas's rotunda, he thinks, even after all this time. There are always people in the yard, but many fewer than before.
(It's downright lonely, when Alistair travels. Cullen will never complain to him. Not after the last few years.)
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He pulls away, sits up, reaches for his tunic. "Yes." The word is calm, authoritative. "One moment."
He does make sure to kiss Alistair quite soundly before doing up the final button, and going down to hear the bad news.
It's bad.
Josephine immediately dispatches a letter to Kont-aar, in northern Rivain, as the closest settlement under the jurisdiction of Par Vollen, inquiring as to whether the Qunari had formally declared war on Orlais, the Inquisition, the south, or anyone else. Leliana's inquiries bear fruit: additional gaatlok in Val Royeaux, Denerim, Jader, any city of any consequence in Thedas.
Cullen sees Lavellan's hand spark. Sees Lavellan flinch, and try to squeeze her wrist into submission.
Their guard are on alert, minding the eluvian. The Orlesian guard has swept the Winter Palace, finding no more gaatlok.
The sun sets by the time Cullen ascends the stairs in search of -- well. He's supposed to be in search of something to eat, for a dinner break, while Lavellan is off through the mirrors again.
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Heard your bells last night. He keeps it casual. Congratulations.
Sera slants a glance over; her mouth quirks, small but real. Got her name and everything now, she says, chucking another pebble in. All official-like. Then the lopsided smile vanishes: Don't have her, not yet. Not like I want to run around in those mirrors anyway, but I want her.
Isn't that a familiar tune. Alistair's turn to smile halfheartedly, crooked with sympathy. Yes, he agrees. It'd be an awful honeymoon...but still.
Sera's next pebble hits the water with a plunk so loud it echoes off the wall. Alistair watches the ripples spread. He glances to the pile of stones next to Sera; on closer inspection, they look much smoother than ordinary gravel. Like she yanked little marble bits out of the walls of Halamshiral herself.
Alistair wouldn't be surprised if she did.
Want to take those -- he gestures to the pebbles, -- hide in the rafters of that fancy heated pool, and see how many Orlesians we can splash before anyone notices?
This time, Sera turns her full attention to him...and her smile spreads across her face, sweetly wicked.
The answer to that question: twenty-seven.
Maybe Alistair has a career as a Red Jenny if that whole relaxing-life-in-the-Fereldan-countryside thing doesn't pan out.
When Cullen returns, Alistair's curled up in their bed, dozing -- and there's a full tray of food waiting on the bedside table.
(If Cullen managed to eat anything today, Alistair will eat his hat. Or maybe one of Teagan's hats.)
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And smiles, tired, a little relieved.
Carefully he sits beside Alistair. Runs his fingers through Alistair's hair.
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Alistair stirs; begins to smile, without opening his eyes, as he stretches into Cullen's touch.
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"For now."
He brushes the back of his fingers down Alistair's cheek.
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A beat.
"Eat...things," he adds in a mumble, wiggling a finger or three in the vague direction of the tray. "Love you."
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At least he can have this. No idea how long it'll last, but --
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Then he's out again like a candle in a sharp breeze.
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If Alistair is sleeping that easily, he shouldn't interfere. Slowly his smile fades.
He should get something from the tray and return to the cellars. Should check in with the guard. Should do -- lots of things.
The longer he sits here, the more likely it is he'll wake Alistair. Cullen closes his eyes for a moment, then carefully eases off the bed. Bread and cheese will do. Something simple. Easy.
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An indeterminate time later, a vague discomfort nudges the back of Alistair's mind. It drifts along, drawing Alistair's attention even before it coalesces into coherent thought.
Shouldn't Cullen be in bed by now?
He was here. It was dark enough that -- in theory -- the meetings should've been over. Did he get called away again? Why didn't Alistair hear it?
His brow furrows. Alistair opens his eyes.
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Cullen sits in the same spot as last night -- an unfathomable gulf of time away, it feels like. Once more he's shed the hateful tunic. For good, hopefully.
When Lavellan is dead --
Cullen closes his eyes, makes himself breathe, and begins, quietly, to recite from Transfigurations.
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(Relaxes, visibly, at the sight of the familiar shape outside.)
Cullen's murmuring doesn't become audible until Alistair's nearly to the balcony door. He slows, stopping just outside the threshold; at least it's not Trials, he thinks as he recognizes a snatch of verse.
He doesn't interrupt. He never does when Cullen prays -- wouldn't even think of it.
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"...And she will know no fear of death, for the Maker
Shall be her beacon and her shield, her foundation and her sword."
Cullen rubs at his eyes, and mutters, "Except for the part with the elven gods. -- Maker's breath, and not even them."
Alistair brought up the celebratory bottle of brandy, and Cullen knows he shouldn't touch any of it, but right now it sounds better than anything he can imagine.
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He stays put.
"Cullen?" Soft.
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Cullen gives him a wan smile, and holds out a hand.
"There's some good news." Quietly. "And then some very bad news. But Josephine's had a response to her letter. No war with the Qun. It's a rogue Ben-Hassrath operative with people under her command. They're trying to find her."
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"Good." He exhales the word on a long sigh of relief. "Not -- good good, but far better than all-out war."
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More quietly:
"The operative has people in the Inquisition. We've been thoroughly infiltrated. And -- the Anchor has caught up with Lavellan. It's consuming her. She doesn't have much time."
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"Oh, no."
Barely audible.
Alistair lets go of Cullen's hand, but only to put an arm around him, drawing him closer.
Eventually his thoughts will circle back to the first bit -- we've been thoroughly infiltrated -- but he's too struck by the news about Lavellan. He never thought of the Anchor like the Joining, granting you a way to fight the darkness until it destroys you from the inside out. He's seen more than one Warden-Commander off to the Deep Roads. It never gets easier, watching your leaders die one by one from the very thing that keeps Thedas safe.
And Lavellan, what she means to Cullen, everything she gave him --
He shuts his eyes, leaning his forehead against the side of Cullen's.
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No louder. He's finally allowing himself to sound nearly as exhausted as he feels.
"Both factions are aware of the Qunari threat. They don't know about -- about the Inquisitor. Nobody's put the pieces together about the missing servants, but -- " Cullen presses the heel of one hand into his eye. "They'll try to carve us apart for their own purposes. Pick over the carcass before she's cold."
Hand drops. "At least she took Sera with her, this last time."
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(Maker. Sera. Did she know the Anchor was eating Lavellan alive? Is that why -- ?
Andraste's ass, can't any of them get a moment's peace?)
"There's no way to contain the Anchor?"
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Maybe if she'd talked about it. Maybe if Solas were still here. Unconsciously, Alistair tightens his embrace.
"Can't believe I actually want Solas around right now. Maker."
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