Alistair hitches up one shoulder, just enough to convey a shrug without disturbing Cullen. "Part of that business where I want you to be happy, I suspect," he says. "I like knowing you had something pleasant, like this."

A beat goes by; the tail end of it shifts toward awkwardness.

"And -- I guess I'm curious what it's like to..."

In Alistair's mind, about six different ways to end that sentence crash into one another, ending in a self-pitying mishmash he's too embarrassed to say aloud. So he doesn't.